Mother’s Day is soon approaching. A few days ago, Luke Murphy, the most recent addition to our Author Page, tweeted out a warning to other parents, “Because of distance learning our kids won’t be making Mother’s Day gifts in school this year.” His tweet was mostly in jest, but when I look back on the many handmade treasures I have from my kids, Mother’s Day gifts and poems are the most special. Whether it’s a handmade coupon book for chores that might not have gotten done or hugs that I cherished above all else, I feel sad for the young moms who will be missing out this year.
We no longer live in the 50s or 60s sitcom world where mom stayed home, took care of the household, supervised the children, and meted out justice while only involving dad for the major offenses.
With our changing society, the definition of mom and the role of mom is changing. The same is true for the dad role, but we’ll talk about that in June. Same sex couples are often navigating new territory as parents in a society still focused on traditional gender roles. We are finally realizing/admitting parents wear many hats. Traditional mother and father roles are merging, and I think it’s about time. Even in the most amicable custody arrangements, there are times when single parents must perform both roles. In a two-parent household, if your spouse travels for work or works long hours, the mom/dad line becomes blurred. If both parents work outside the home, parenting responsibilities are usually shared.
More couples are sharing parenting responsibilities because it’s the right thing to do regardless of work status.
How should Mother’s Day or Father’s Day be celebrated?
I want every parent to think of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day as Parents’ Day and celebrate both without gender stereotyping.
I know Mother’s Day is a holiday created by greeting card companies and not everyone celebrates, but I’ve always loved Mother’s Day. It’s a time to thank the person who changed your diapers and then potty trained you, so you’d be more independent. The person who fed you and then taught you how to use a fork and spoon, so you could feed yourself. Then, they taught you how to cook, so you could not only feed yourself, but feed the ones you love. Our moms usually started with something delicious like making chocolate chip cookies or brownies. Sometimes mom taught us how to make a nutritious snack but made it fun like ants on a log (celery slices with peanut butter and raisins). Sometimes dad was the diaper changer, potty-trainer, feeder, cook, or teacher.
The traditional definition of mother is a woman who gives birth to and/or cares for a child or children. The role of a mother is so much more than that. A mother is someone who cares for a child and teaches it how to care for itself. All our days as moms are spent teaching our children how to live without us… how to be responsible adults who will hopefully love and care for their own families one day. If our kids decide not to have children of their own or even get married, we must be okay with that because we taught them how to make their own choices. We teach them how to leave us, and in doing so, we teach them how to find their way back home when they need us or when we need them.
To every person who has put on the mom hat, Happy Mother’s Day!