For Women’s History Month, I wanted to review a book by a strong woman in a male dominated field.
I selected How We Learn to be Brave: Decisive Moments in Faith and Life by Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde.
Budde is an American Episcopal prelate. She was ordained as a deacon in 1988, and as a priest in1989.
Budde, the dioceses’ first female bishop, has been the Bishop of Washington since 2011.
In 2017, she oversaw the removal of the Washington National Cathedral’s’ stained glass windows depicting Confederate generals Lee and Jackson that were donated by the Daughters of the Confederacy in 1953.
They were replaced with new windows depicting the American Civil Rights struggle.
In 2018, Budde and Gene Robinson, the first openly gay Episcopal bishop presided over the interment service for Matthew Shepard, a young gay man who was murdered in 1998.
In 2020, Budde criticized the use of police and the National Guard to forcibly remove people who were peacefully protesting the killing of George Floyd from Lafeyette Square, so the president (Donald Trump) could pose in front of St. John’s Church for a photo-op holding an upside-down Bible.
The protests turned violent when police used flashbangs, tear gas, and mounted police to clear the area.
Budde condemned his use of the church as “a backdrop for a message antithetical to the teachings of Jesus.”
Later that year, Budde was invited to deliver the benediction at the closing of the second night of the Democratic National Convention.
In 2024, Budde and 200 other Christian leaders and scholars signed an open letter calling for the preservation and protection of pluralist democracy and the opposition to authoritarian rule.
In 2025, Budde delivered the homily at the interfaith prayer service traditionally held at the Washington National Cathedral after a presidential inauguration. She urged the new president to be a merciful leader to the people in the United States, especially our most vulnerable including members of the LGBTQIA+ communities, immigrants, and asylum seekers/refugees. Budde received praise for her words from her church, other members of the clergy, and many government officials. Donald Trump, J.D. Vance, Mike Johnson and other MAGA politicians condemned her message. Bishop Budde has faced calls for her dismissal and death threats for asking the leaders of our country to treat everyone with fairness and compassion.
After listening to her message of love and compassion for every living person, I wanted to hear more, so I read her book.
Budde recounts defining moments in her life with candor and humor. After her parent’s divorce, she often felt like a pawn in a chess match between her feuding parents. It made her run to her faith for shelter and question why she couldn’t pray away the acrimony in her life. Eventually Budde learned how to deal with situations not of her own choosing – probably one of her first steps at learning how to be brave.
She has pushed for acceptance and inclusion of women, minorities, and members of the LGBTQIA+ community in the Episcopalian Church as lay members and clergy.
Budde’s message about learning to be brave puts honesty and accountability at the forefront. If we are not honest with ourselves and others, we cannot be brave. We need to admit our shortcomings and make amends. It’s equally important to know which principles we are willing to uphold no matter what.
Sometimes it’s easier to apologize than to stand up for what we know in our hearts is right. It takes real courage to risk losing the approval of friends, co-workers, or family members.
Budde recommends evaluating and re-evaluating our beliefs on a regular basis. Sometimes we all need to be reminded why we care and why we chose something as one of our core beliefs. Can we be compassionate in our disagreements even if the people we disagree with are not? Learning to approach everything we do from a place of love and compassion takes bravery.
It’s hard not to become defensive or discouraged when things don’t go our way. When we’re passed over for a job or a promotion or we don’t feel valued or included. Budde speaks from experience when she counsels us on the importance of perseverance and patience. We would all love it if quick fixes lasted forever, and everything really could be fixed with duct tape and a safety pin.
Life is messy, but we can find beautiful moments and untold riches woven into the mess if we open our hearts and minds to each possibility.
Other Works by Bishop Mariann Budde:
Gathering Up Fragments: Preaching as a Spiritual Practice
Receiving Jesus: The Way of Love