Calvin sat in the waiting room wishing he could be anywhere else in the world. Why Doreen made him do this every year was a mystery. He felt fine. Maybe his blood pressure was a little too high and his cholesterol could be lower, but how many men in their fifties didn’t have these same problems?
He was getting older, and after a lifetime of working, he was entitled to a good steak now and then and a few beers on the weekend.
He didn’t want her tofu scrambles, or meatless Mondays. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy her cooking. Doreen could probably make his work boots taste like a Porterhouse steak if she tried. In his father’s day, a man’s home was his castle, and he ate or drank whatever he wanted. If he wanted to have a few beers, lay back in his recliner, and watch TV after work, nobody said boo about it.
Doreen was always after him to do stuff with her. She kept reminding him that they were now empty nesters. It was their time, and she wanted him to be excited about it. Thank goodness they had Bailey. The dog enjoyed the long nightly walks Doreen insisted they all take together.
Why couldn’t worrying about enjoying their golden years wait until they were in their golden years? He felt fine, and he could still outwork some of the younger guys on the construction crew. Veggie burgers, meditation, stretching… if his buddies knew, they’d call him whipped, and no self-respecting man wants that.
He had to admit, all this “healthy living” looked good on Doreen. She was still sexy and exciting as hell. Maybe her curves were slightly different, but her body was familiar. Sometimes being with her reminded him of being a randy teenager, and he felt eighteen again.
The nurse called him back. She took his vitals and reviewed his medical history before leaving him one of those paper gowns. Calvin hated those gowns. A grown man sitting in a paper dress. The exam room was always cold. He felt his testicles curl up tightly to his body. The doctor would have cold hands making everything worse. Why couldn’t Doreen mind her own business?
The minutes crawled by as he waited for Dr. Brinker to come in. Finally he heard the rustling of papers outside and a knock on the door
“Hey Calvin! Good to see you. How have you been?”
You have my chart in your hands. You tell me.
“Fine, fine, How have you been?”
“I’m good, but let’s talk about you.”
Calvin took in a deep breath and blew it out slowly.
“Well, I have the results of your bloodwork. Your cholesterol is down. Let’s see if we can get it down a few more points, but your blood sugar is normal. Everything else is normal. Your blood pressure is 117/74. That’s much better, and you’re down a few pounds. Whatever you’re doing, keep it up.”
“Doreen’s trying to keep me off the fast food, and she’s got us taking the dog for longer walks.”
“That’s great! Let’ finish your exam and we’ll talk more.”
He listened to Calvin’s heart and lungs, looked in his ears, nose, and mouth, and felt his abdomen. He checked his posture and the alignment of his spine. Then came the fun “turn your head and cough moment.” Damn his hands were cold.
“You’ve had your shingles vaccine and booster. After Betty gives you your flu shot and Covid booster, you can get dressed. I’ll be back to go over everything with you.”
***
“Comparing last year’s visit with today, I see a lot of improvement. You’re do for another colonoscopy, so I’ll write you a script.”
“Do you really think that’s necessary?”
“I do. I know it’s not fun, but you have a family history. Your dad died at 58 from colon cancer. You just turned 57, and it’s been five years since your last one. Let’s be proactive.”
“Okay,” Calvin grumbled.
“Betty noted that your daughters Lea, and Lexi, moved out about six months ago. You’re empty nesters now. How’s that going for you and Doreen?”
“It was hard at first, especially on Doreen. I miss both girls, but they’re still in town. We get to see them. The house is quiet without the twins. No squabbling over who’s hogging the bathroom or who borrowed something without asking. I never thought I’d miss that.”
“You mentioned what Doreen is doing to keep you healthy. What are you doing, Calvin? You can’t put this all on her. You need to be responsible for your health, too. Doreen has you on the right track, but she can’t babysit you every minute. I asked Betty to make up a folder for you with some dietary guidelines and information about exercise. Your mental health is just as important. Do you have any hobbies? Do you spend time with friends? Are you and Doreen friends?”
“Doreen’s my wife, why wouldn’t we be friends?”
“You’re recent empty nesters. Before you know it you’ll both be retired. Those are big changes, and you need to plan for them. Some couples worry something’s wrong with their relationship if they don’t spend every moment together. Other couples don’t do anything together. You’d be surprised how many couples aren’t really friends. Without their kids, they have nothing in common. You need to find a balance that will make both of you happy. Healthy relationships are an important part of a healthy life. You think about it.”
***
Calivin sat in the parking lot and scanned the contents of the folder. There was a lot more to this nutrition and exercise stuff than he thought. There was also a lot more to a healthy relationship. He loved his wife, and he was sure she loved him. Shouldn’t that be enough?
They talked. They spent time together. Did he know what book she was reading or what project she was working on at the office? He could see the book on the nightstand. The cover was blue, but what was the title? She was planning some big charity fundraiser, but which charity?
She knew he was reading Mark Lanegan’s memoir. She was the one who recommended it to him. She also knew which housing development his crew was working on. She’d even stopped by to check out the first model home.
She knew the names of every man on his crew. He knew she worked with a guy named Kevin and a woman named Audrey, but he didn’t remember any other names. Why hadn’t he been listening? How many years was he “husband hearing?” That’s what his mom used to call it when his dad only half listened to what she was saying. How many years had he let Doreen do the heavy lifting that made their relationship work?
Calvin stopped by the grocery store and picked up a bouquet of flowers. He didn’t know what they were, but he knew she liked the purple ones. He’d ask her, and he’d make sure to listen. It was a start.