At various times during the year we feature articles about decluttering and tidying up around the house. There’s an industry dedicated to organizing and decluttering. Certain books such as Marie Kondo’s, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up have become international best-sellers and the holy grail of organizing.
Kondo’s method of organizing, the Kon Mari method, is simple. You are supposed to gather up all your belongings and get rid of items that don’t “spark joy” when you use them, look at them, or touch/hold them in your hands. Next, you are supposed to take the items that do spark joy and find a place for them.
Kondo established a procedure for this process. You don’t go around picking up random objects in the home. You group like items together and evaluate like items. For example, if you have ten pairs of pants which pants do you wear, and which pants remain in the closet or tucked in a drawer? If you only enjoy wearing four of the ten, only keep those four. It’s organized and makes a lot of sense. Sometimes seeing how many handbags, shoes, kick knacks, or kitchen gadgets we have can be a gamechanger. How much do we really need?
Lately, I’ve read articles and watched videos by designers and home organizers criticizing this method for making homeowners too ruthless with their purges. The new claim is that people were so enamored with this new thinking that they got rid of too much making their homes too sparse and lacking in personality. Too much space and order, they claim, is making homes seem sterile and uninviting, and making homeowners sad.
Trends are trends. By definition, a trend is a general direction or way of behaving in which something is developing or changing. Marketers use trends to sell you things. They are analyzed by behaviorists to explain what’s happening in societies. They are started by people who become known as “trendsetters.” Trends can be positive or negative. They are present in almost every aspect of our lives, politics, the economy, fashion, decorating, education, and pop culture. Sometimes a trend becomes an accepted part of life. Other times it falls from favor sometimes slowly, sometimes at record speed.
I’m getting ready for a long overdue kitchen renovation by going through kitchen cupboards and drawers packing away, throwing away, and donating items I don’t use every day. I don’t want to be scrambling to pack up everything by demo day, and I don’t want to pack up things I’ll still need before demo day and in my temporary kitchen.
I have a fantastic contractor with loads of experience renovating kitchens. We have a sensible plan to design and order first, demo after everything arrives, and install all at once. In and out quickly. That’s the plan.
As I’ve been packing up, I haven’t been ruthless. Ruthless will come when I’m putting things into my new space. My can opener does not spark joy; however, I need it. I also need a fire extinguisher and my trash can. What will bring me joy is having the things I need in an organized and accessible space. The fact that my kitchen is going to be beautiful is a bonus.
In order to make space for a bigger kitchen, I had to ditch my formal dining area. I have a mid-Century modern home built in the late 1950s, so it has a small kitchen, with an open floor plan. My dining table will occupy what was previously wasted space in the living area. Ditching my formal dining area required me to let go of the China hutch and server that have moved around the country with me for more than 30 years. It’s something people have been doing for the past 15 years, so there’s not high demand for these furniture pieces even though they are beautifully crafted from cherry hardwoods and built to last a lifetime. FYI, I’m keeping the table because it does spark joy. I remember wonderful family dinners and shared evenings playing games at that table, laughing - lots of laughter. I remember the people who sat on those chairs, The friends and family members who are no longer with us are infinitely missed and loved.
I decided to give the hutch and server away on my local Buy Nothing site hoping someone who would treasure and use these pieces would be interested. After posting pictures and a short blurb about the pieces, I got a couple of quick responses. One was from a woman who also had Thomasville dining furniture. She advised me to rethink getting rid of such beautiful and well-made furniture. “You should hold onto them. It’s hard to find quality pieces like these, and you might regret giving them away.”
The next response was a from a woman who thought they would go perfectly with a dining table she found for the home she and her family recently purchased. We private messaged each other a few times, and I got this sense that she would continue to care for these pieces as I have for so many years. I met her, her husband, and son when they picked up the furniture, and I was not disappointed. I saw joy when they looked at their new furniture, and I felt joy knowing my beloved China hutch and server would have a home with a new family for hopefully another 30 years.
I came to a realization about the meaning of “spark joy” that I never considered. Sometimes an item can spark more joy by being given away than it ever could by being kept. It has changed the way I look at Items when I declutter/purge my home.
It’s about passing the love for that item along or allowing your gift to brighten someone else’s world. Maybe one of the pairs of shoes in my closet that I haven’t worn in a year will be the shoes someone gets to wear to prom, graduation, or an important job interview. Maybe they will fall in love wearing the same necklace I wore when it happened to me. Maybe the extra baking dish or frying pan I don’t really need “just in case” will help a busy working parent(s) make food for their family.
Those are thoughts that spark joy for me. Maybe they can for you, too.