This Awful-Awesome Life

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August 2023 Dare to Believe by Fran Joyce

For August 2023, I am featuring two individuals who refused to let age stand in the way of creating their second acts.

If you think it’s too late to pursue your dreams after you retire, think again. Many people have achieved great success in their “golden years.”

Harry Bernstein and Estelle Getty (small pun intended about golden years for this “Golden Girl”) each achieved phenomenal success later in life.

Harry Bernstein (1910-2011) Bernstein was born in Stockport, England. His parents were Jewish immigrants who fled the pogroms in Poland.  They lived in a Jewish ghetto in Stockport, a mill town near Manchester. There was animosity between the Christians and the Jews who lived in Stockport. Bernstein and his siblings were often teased and bullied because of their faith.

In spite of this animosity, Bernstein’s older sister Lily fell in love with and married a Christian. Lily was disowned by her parents until her first child was born.

Bernstein’s mother was loving and protective of her family. She worked hard to give her six children happy lives. His father was cruel man who often drank and took out his frustrations on his family.

When Bernstein was twelve, his family moved to the United States and settled in Chicago. He did well in school and was the first person in his family to attend school past seventh grade. The Depression ended his hopes of going to college.

At a Depression era dance, he met the love of his life, Ruby. He and Ruby were married in 1935. They had two children and remained happily married until her death from leukemia in 2002. According to Bernstein, his life with Ruby balanced out the unhappiness and struggles of his childhood.

Bernstein was a trade magazine editor for most of his career. He also critiqued and summarized manuscripts for film studios in the 1930s and 1940s. He wrote freelance articles, short stories, and manuscripts. His first novel, The Smile, about a fashion model, received little attention.

At 96 years old, he published The Invisible Wall, a memoir about his childhood. Bernstein started writing it when he was 93. The book was favorable compared to Frank McCourt’s, Angela’s Ashes, a memoir about McCourt’s upbringing in Ireland. Critics contended that Bernstein couldn’t possibly remember so many details from his youth.

In 2008, Bernstein wrote, The Dream, a memoir about his family’s move to Chicago. His final memoir, The Golden Willow (2009) is about his marriage and later life. Bernstein died in 2011 at the age of 101. A fourth book, What Happened to Rose, was published posthumously in 2013 in Italian under the title, La Sognatrice Bugiarda (translated as The Lying Dreamer).

Sources for this article:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/obituaries/harry-bernstein-memoirist-who-wrote-of-life-of-deprivation-dies-at-101/2011/06/04/AGdNT1IH_story.html

Image of Harry Bernstein taken with no intention of copyright infringement:

https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/authors/73737/harry-bernstein/

Estelle Getty (1923-2008) – Estelle Scher was born in New York City. Her parents owned a glass business. Every Friday night, her father took the family to the Academy of Music on 14th Street to see a live show. Estelle decided as a child she wanted to be an actress. After graduating high school, her parents persuaded her to become a secretary in case acting did not pan out. The hours allowed her to attend auditions in the late afternoons and evenings.

She found fairly steady work in the theater, but not leading roles. At a theater party, she met Arthur Gettleman. Nine months later they married, and Arthur began working with his father-in-law installing glass. Estelle was called “Etty” as a child because her sister couldn’t pronounce “Estelle.” She took “Getty” as her stage name after marrying Gettleman.

Getty continued to work as a secretary after her marriage and the birth of her two sons. She also won roles on the New York theater circuit. Her first big acting break came in 1982 when she was almost 60 years old.  Getty was cast as Mrs. Beckoff in the Broadway production of Torch Song Trilogy. Playwright Harvey Fierstein created the role with Getty in mind. She reprised that role in Broadway and off-Broadway productions for four years. During that time, she was noticed by Witt/Thomas/Harris Productions who cast her as Sophia Petrillo in The Golden Girls.

Getty played Bea Arthur’s mother, but in reality, Arthur was one year older than Getty. Getty won a Golden Globe and an Emmy for her portrayal of Sophia and quickly became a popular television celebrity.

The Golden Girls dominated  their time slot for seven seasons and ended when Bea Arthur left the show. Getty along with Betty White and Rue McClanahan reprised their roles as Sophia, Rose, and Blanche in The Golden Palace which only lasted for one season. She had guest-starring roles in other television programs. She appeared in the films, The Mask, Mannequin, and Stuart Little. and had a starring role in the film, Stop or My Mom Will Shoot, with Sylvester Stallone.

Getty retired from acting in 2001. She and her husband were married until his death in 2004. In 2008, Getty died as a result of Lewy body dementia.

Image of Estelle Getty:

By photo by Alan Light, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=21676586