Would You Rather? by Fran Joyce
Life is all about choices. Some choices we hardly have to think about, while others can be difficult. Have you ever played the game, “Would You Rather?” You’re given two choices – they may not be great choices, but you must choose one of the two options.
Playing it can be a lot of fun, and it’s one of the best ways to learn something about yourself or your friends/acquaintances. I created twenty-five random questions (some with subparts) and sent them to several people who have been featured in This Awful Awesome Life. I’m excited because 100% of them returned their questionnaires. Most replied, “This was a lot of fun, but some of the questions were hard.” All part of my plan, so mission accomplished.
The respondents range in age from early 20’s to in their mid to late seventies. They live all across North America and are teachers, authors, illustrators, project managers, nutritionists, retirees, and lawyers. Their responses will be listed under their initials.
Sometimes, this game is quite risqué, but we’ve kept our questions G or PG.
Read through the questions and select your answers. Then, compare your answers with friends or family and the list of responses I received. After the questionnaire, I have the complete list of people who responded with a short bio and a tabulation of their responses. If their answers intrigue you, please use our search button to look them up in our magazine. Who did you match most closely?
1. Would you rather live near (A) the beach or (B) the mountains?
2. If you could only have one pet, would you rather have (A) a cat or (B) a dog?
3. You’ve won a contest and first prize is your choice of (A) housekeeping services or (B) a personal chef for one year. Which would you rather have?
4. Would you rather have (A) a fast forward button for your life so you could bypass the difficult times or (B) a rewind button to relive your favorite moments?
5. Would you rather be:
a. (A) the oldest or (B) youngest person at a party.
b. (A) the kindest or (B) most popular person at a party.
c. (A) the smartest or (B) funniest person at a party.
d. (A) most beautiful or (B) wealthiest person at a party.
6. Would you rather (A) read a play by Shakespeare or (B) see it performed at the theater?
7. Would you rather (A) read the book or (B) watch the movie?
8. Would you rather (A) use a manual typewriter instead of a computer for one year or (B) use a rotary phone instead of a Smart phone for one year?
9. Would you rather (A) live in a house for one year without air conditioning or (B) live in a house with no windows for one year?
10. Would you rather (A) have to sing karaoke every weekend for one year in a crowded bar or (B) run naked through Times Square once?
11. Would you rather co-write a song with (A) Stevie Nicks or (B) Taylor Swift?
12. Would you rather co-write a book with (A) Joyce Carol Oates or (B) Stephen King?
13. Would you rather take an all-expense paid trip to (A) France or (B) Italy?
14. Would you rather give up (A) chocolate or (B) all alcoholic beverages?
15. Would you rather (A) cure cancer or (B) end world hunger?
16. Would you rather (A) never wear shoes again or (B) never wear underwear again?
17. Would you rather (A) take a bath or (B) take a shower?
18. Would you rather be interviewed by:
(A) Stephen Colbert or (B) Graham Norton?
(A) Kelly Clarkson or (B) Drew Barrymore?
19. Would you rather give up (A) watching TV or (B) reading books for one year?
20. Would you rather spend one year (A) teaching third graders how to do fractions or (B) teaching sex education to high school students?
21. You’ve won a contest and the first prize is your choice of (A) a personal stylist or (B) a personal trainer for one year. Which would you rather have?
22. Would you rather (A) listen to your significant other sing every morning or (B) sing to your significant other every morning?
23. Would you rather (A) relive your worst date or (B) watch your significant other relive their best date that wasn’t with you?
24. Would you rather watch:
a. (A) The Wizard of Oz or (B) The Sound of Music
b. (A) Rocky Horror Picture Show or (B) American Graffiti
c. (A) Gone with the Wind or (B) Citizen Kane
d. (A) Star Wars or (B) Star Trek
25. Would you rather (A) have a reading from a Psychic or (B) an Astrologer?
Elizabeth Meitzler (EM) is a Pittsburgh author. Her first novel, The Twelve Swipes of Christmas was released in 2022. She is featured in the December 2022 issue of This Awful Awesome Life. https://www.thisawfulawesomelife.com/home/2022/12/1/the-december-2022-qampa-with-author-elizabeth-meitzler-by-fran-joyce
Ann Howley (AH) is a Pittsburgh author. Ann’s novels, Confessions of a Do-Gooder Gone Bad and The Memory of Cotton (Next Generation Indie Book Award) have received awards and critical praise. Ann has been featured in several issues – most recently in the July 2022 issue, https://www.thisawfulawesomelife.com/home/2022/6/30/qampa-with-pittsburgh-author-ann-k-howley-by-fran-joyce?rq=Ann%20Howley
Orlando Bartro (OB) is the author of Between Two Words. He was featured in our first issue in March 2017, and he is a regular contributor to This Awful Awesome Life. Check any issue to read one of his excellent articles. Look for his article in this month’s issue.
Francis Cleetus (FC) is an author, illustrator, cartoonist, painter, sculptor, and former creative director, graphic designer, and copywriter. His book, a compilation of tech cartoons titled, Wish Your Mouth Had a Backspace Key, was published in the United States in 2012. In 2013, a new compilation of tech cartoons, It’s Geek 2 Me _ Total Timepass Tech Toons was published by Hachette India for the Indian subcontinent. One of his cartoons was featured in our inaugural issue (March 2017) and he designed the cover of my novel, Everything in Between.
Ann Dashofy (AD) is the USA Today best-selling author of the Zoe Chambers Mystery series, the Detective Honeywell Mysteries, and Death by Equine, the 2022 winner of the Dr. Tony Ryan Award, She lives in rural Pennsylvania with her husband and their cat, Kensi. Annette is a six-time Agatha Award nominee and has appeared in several issues of this publication. Here is the link to one of our favorite articles by Annette, https://www.thisawfulawesomelife.com/home/2020/5/5/a-mystery-by-any-other-name-by-annette-dashofy?rq=Mysteries
Corey Flynn (CF) has degrees in nutrition, photography, and journalism. She enjoys adventure triathlons and hiking. She is the Co-Director, Scholar CHEF for David C. Frederick Honors College at the University of Pittsburgh. Corey has contributed several articles on nutrition and fitness to This Awful Awesome Life. Here is the link to one of her articles, https://www.thisawfulawesomelife.com/home/2018/3/15/national-nutrition-month-by-corey-flynn-w3ax2?rq=nutrition
Gail Neustadt (GN) uses the pen name, Dylan Weiss. She is the author of The Skunk Tales Trilogy - Sebastian’s Tale, Norton’s Tale, and Quinn’s Quill. Her book, Traveling Our Road, explores issues of love, illness, communication, and caregiving in ways children can understand and Side by Side is a memoir for adults. Gail is a retired speech-language pathologist who specialized in geriatric communication disorders and progressive neurologic diseases. She has been featured in This Awful Awesome Life several times – most recently in our November 2021 issue, https://www.thisawfulawesomelife.com/home/2021/11/4/qampa-with-local-author-dylan-weiss?rq=Author%20Dylan%20Weiss
Priscilla Goodwin Serra (PGS) is a teacher in Alabama. She enjoys yoga, traveling, caving, hot-air ballooning, and life on the lake with her husband Carlos (CS) and her stepson, Carlos, Jr (Pito). (CPS) For fun, they each filled out our questionnaire. She has contributed several articles to our magazine. Here is the link to her most recent article, https://www.thisawfulawesomelife.com/home/2022/8/2/rediscovering-the-joys-of-traveling-my-trip-to-southern-spain-by-priscilla-goodwin-serra-f8jnm?rq=Spain
J.J. Hensley (JJH) is a former police officer and former Special Agent with the U.S. Secret Service. He’s the author of the crime novels, Resolve, Measure Twice, Chalk’s Outline, and the Trevor Galloway series, Bolt Action Remedy, Record Scratch, Forgiveness Dies, and The Better of the Bad. He and his work have been featured several times in This Awful Awesome Life. Here is a link to an article, https://www.thisawfulawesomelife.com/home/2019/12/31/forgiveness-dies-by-jj-hensley-a-review-by-fran-joyce?rq=Forgiveness
Terry Kish (TK) is a writer in the Pittsburgh area. She has contributed several articles to This Awful Awesome Life. Here is a link to one of her many wonderful articles, https://www.thisawfulawesomelife.com/home/2019/5/7/mystery-solved-by-terry-kish
Luke Murphy (LM) is an internationally bestselling author. He is also a retired professional ice hockey player and a teacher. He is the author of two popular mystery series, The Charlene Taylor Mysteries and The Calvin Watters Mysteries. Luke lives in Canada with his wife and daughters. Here is the link to a Q & A with Luke, https://www.thisawfulawesomelife.com/home/2020/5/5/qampa-with-the-international-best-selling-author-luke-murphy-by-fran-joyce?rq=by%20Luke%20Murphy
Lilly Kauffman (LK) is a non-fiction writer who worked as a librarian and a teacher. Her essays, whether serious or humorous, capture the experiences that allow us to laugh and grieve. Lilly started contributing articles to This Awful Awesome Life in 2021 and every month she delivers something spectacular. Look for her article in this month’s issue.
Jim O’Brien (JO) is a Pittsburgh sports author of over 31 books in his “Pittsburgh Proud” series. He was the first Pittsburgher to be inducted into the U.S. Basketball Writer’s Association Hall of Fame. During his career. he has written for The Washington Post, Newsweek, The Sporting News, Basketball Times, The Philadelphia Evening Bulletin, and several local publications. For 23 years, he was the founding editor of Street & Smith’s Basketball Yearbook. Jim has contributed many articles to This Awful Awesome Life – Spoiler alert-not all of them were about sports. Here is a link to our Q&A with Jim, https://www.thisawfulawesomelife.com/home/2019/6/5/qampa-with-pittsburgh-sports-writer-and-local-legend-jim-obrien-by-fran-joyce
Jackie Zataweski (JZ) is a librarian in Virginia. Before her move to Virginia, Jackie was a librarian in the Pittsburgh area. She has contributed several articles to This Awful Awesome Life. It was difficult to pick just one to share with our readers, but this is one of my favorites, https://www.thisawfulawesomelife.com/home/2019/6/5/his-fathers-son-by-jackie-zataweski?rq=Jackie%20Zataweski
Linda Lee Blakemore (LLB) is a Pittsburgh author. I interviewed Linda about her book, Kids Helping Kids, and her memoir, Entrenched: A Memoir of Holding on and Letting Go for our September 2022 issue, https://www.thisawfulawesomelife.com/home/2022/8/26/qampa-with-pittsburgh-author-linda-lee-blakemore
Frances Joyce (FJ) is an author and the founder of This Awful Awesome Life. Her third novel was released in May 2023.
Here are the answers to the questionnaire. The initials of each respondent will appear after the answer they chose. Some respondents chose not to answer certain questions. This information will be noted with an asterisk at the end of the questionnaire results. The A/B responses to each question are totaled for you, and I have included a brief and very unscientific analysis of the data.
1. Would you rather live near (A) the beach or (B) the mountains?
Beach: EM, OB, TK, LK, JO, LLB, FJ – 7.
Mountains: AH, FC, AD, CF, GN, PGS, CS, CPS, JJH, LM, JZ – 11.
2. If you could only have one pet, would you rather have (A) a cat or (B) a dog?
Cat: EM, AD, CF, FJ – 4.
Dog: AH, OB, FC, GN, PS, CS, CPS, JJH, TK, LM, LK, JO, JZ, LLB – 14.
3. You’ve won a contest and the first prize is your choice of (A) housekeeping services or (B) a personal chef for one year. Which would you rather have?
Housekeeping Services: OB, AD, CF, GN, LM, LK, JO, JZ, FJ - 9
Personal Chef: EM, AH, FC, PGS, CS, CPS, JJH, TK, LLB - 9
4. Would you rather have (A) a fast-forward button for your life so you could bypass the difficult times or (B) a rewind button to relive your favorite moments?
Fast-Forward Button: JJH, LLB - 2
Rewind Button: EM, AH, OB, FC, AD, CF, GN, PGS, CS, CPS, TK, LM, LK, JO, JZ, LLB - 16
5. Would you rather be:
A. the oldest person at a party: AH, OB, CF, GN, JJH, TK, LK, JO, LLB, FJ - 10
the youngest person at a party: EM, AD, FC, PGS, CS, CPS, LM, JZ - 8
B. kindest person at a party: EM, AH, OB, FC, AD, CF, GN, PGS, CS, CPS, JJH, TK, LM, LK, JZ, LLB, FJ - 17
most popular person at a party: JO - 1
C. the smartest person at a party: AH, OB, AD, JJH, JO, JZ, LLB - 7
the funniest person at a party: EM, FC, CF, GN, PGS, CS, CPS, TK, LM, LK, FJ - 11
D. the most beautiful person at a party: EM, AH, GN, JJH, LK, LLB - 6
the wealthiest person at a party: OB, FC, AD, CF, PGS, CS, CPS, TK, LM, JO, JZ, FJ - 12
6. Would you rather (A) read a play by Shakespeare or (B) see it performed at the theater?
Read the play: OB, CF, TK, LM - 4
See it performed: EM, AH, FC, AD, GN, PGS, CS, CPS, JJH, LK, JO, JZ, LLB, FJ - 14
7. Would you rather (A) read the book or (B) watch the movie?
Read the book: EM, AH, OB, FC, AD, CF, GN, PGS, JJH, TK, LM, LK, JO, JZ, FJ - 15
See the movie: CS, CPS, LLB - 3
8. Would you rather (A) use a manual typewriter instead of a computer for one year or (B) use a rotary phone instead of a Smartphone for one year?
Manual Typewriter: EM, AH, CF, PGS, CPS, JJH, LM, LK, LLB, FJ - 10
Rotary phone: OB, FC, AD, GN, CS, TK, JZ - 7
9. Would you rather (A) live in a house for one year without air conditioning or (B) live in a house with no windows for one year?
No A/C: AH, OB, FC, CF, GN, CS, TK, LM, LK, JO, JZ, LLB, FJ - 13
No windows: EM, AD, PGS, CPS, JJH - 5
10. Would you rather (A) have to sing karaoke every weekend for one year in a crowded bar or (B) run naked through Times Square once?
Sing Karaoke: AH, OB, AD, GN, PGS, CS, TK, LM, LK, JZ, LLB, FJ - 12
Run Naked: EM, FC, CF, CPS, JJH, JO - 6
11. Would you rather co-write a song with (A) Stevie Nicks or (B) Taylor Swift?
Stevie Nicks: FC, AD, CF, PGS, JJH, LK, LLB, FJ - 8
Taylor Swift: EM, AH, OB, GN, CS, CPS, TK, LM, JO, JZ - 10
12. Would you rather co-write a book with (A) Joyce Carol Oates or (B) Stephen King?
Joyce Carol Oates: OB, FC, GN, LK, JO - 5
Stephen King: EM, AH, AD, CF, PGS, CS. CPS. JJH, TK, LM, JZ, LLB, FJ - 13
13. Would you rather take an all-expense paid trip to (A) France or (B) Italy?
France: AH, FC, JJH - 3
Italy: EM, OB, AD, CF, GN, PGS, CS, CPS, TK, LM, LK, JO, JZ, LLB, FJ - 15
14. Would you rather give up (A) chocolate or (B) all alcoholic beverages?
Chocolate: OB, CF, JJH, TK, LLB - 5
Alcoholic beverages: EM, AH, FC, AD, GN, PGS, CS, CPS, LM, LK, JO, JZ, FJ - 13
15. Would you rather (A) cure cancer or (B) end world hunger?
Cure cancer: EM, FC, AD, PGS, CS, CPS, LM, JO, JZ, LLB - 10
End World Hunger: AH, OB, CF, GN, JJH, TK, LK, FJ - 8
16. Would you rather (A) never wear shoes again or (B) never wear underwear again?
No shoes: AH, OB, FC, CF, PGS, LK - 6
No underwear: EM, AD, GN, CS, CPS, JJH, TK, LM, JO, JZ, LLB, FJ - 12
17. Would you rather (A) take a bath or (B) take a shower?
Bath: AH, OB, FC, AD, JJH, FJ - 6
Shower: EM, CF, GN, PGS, CS, CPS, TK, LM, LK, JO, JZ, LLB - 12
18. Would you rather be interviewed by
a. (A) Stephen Colbert or (B) Graham Norton?
b. (A) Kelly Clarkson or (B) Drew Barrymore?
a. Colbert: EM, AH, FC, AD, CF, GN, PGS, CS, CPS, JJH, TK, LM, LK, JO, JZ - 15
Norton: LLB, FJ - 2
b. Clarkson: AH, PGS, CS, CPS, JJH, TK, LK, JO, FJ - 9
Barrymore: EM, FC, AD, CF, GN, LM, JZ, LLB - 8
19. Would you rather give up (A) watching TV or (B) reading books for one year?
Watching TV: EM, AH, OB, FC, AD, CF, GN, TK, LK, JZ, LLB, FJ - 12
Reading Books: PGS, CS, CPS, JJH, LM, JO - 6
20. Would you rather spend one year (A) teaching third graders how to do fractions or (B) teaching sex education to high school students?
Third Graders/Fractions: AH, OB, AH, GN, PGS, JJH, TK, LM, JZ, LLB - 10
High School Students/Sex Education: EM, FC, CF, CS, CPS, LK, JO, FJ - 8
21. You’ve won a contest and the first prize is your choice of (A) a personal stylist or (B) a personal trainer for one year. Which would you rather have?
Personal stylist: CF - 1
Personal trainer: EM, AH, OB, FC, AD, GN, PGS, CS, CPS, JJH, TK, LM, LK, JO, JZ, LLB, FJ - 17
22. Would you rather (A) listen to your significant other sing every morning or (B) sing to your significant other every morning?
Listen: EM, AD, CF, GN, PGS, JJH, LM, LK, JO, JZ, LLB, FJ - 12
Sing: AH, OB, FC, CS, CPS, TK - 6
23. Would you rather (A) relive your worst date or (B) watch your significant other relive their best date that wasn’t with you?
Your Worst Date: EM, AH, OB, AD, CF, GN, PGS, CS, CPS, JJH, LM, JZ, FJ - 13
Their best date not w/you: FC, TK, LK, LLB - 4
24. Would you rather watch:
A. The Wizard of Oz: EM, OB, AD, GN, PGS, CS, CPS, JJH, LM, JZ, LLB - 11
The Sound of Music: AH, FC, CF, TK, LK, JO, FJ - 7
B. Rocky Horror Picture Show: EM, OB, CF, GN, JJH, JZ - 6
American Graffiti: AH, FC, AD, PGS, CS, CPS, TK, LM, LK, JO, LLB, FJ - 12
C. Gone with the Wind: AH, FC, CF, GN, PGS, CS, CPS, JJH, TK, JO, LLB - 11
Citizen Kane: EM, OB, AD, LM, LK, JZ, FJ - 7
D. Star Wars: EM, AH, OB, FC, CF, GN, PGS, CS, CPS, JJH, TK, LM, JO, JZ, LLB - 15
Star Trek: AD, LK, FJ - 3
25. Would you rather (A) have a reading from a Psychic or (B) an Astrologer?
Psychic: EM, AH, JJH, LM, LK, LLB - 6
Astrologer: OB, FC, AD, CF, GN, PGS, CS, CPS, TK, JZ, FJ - 11
*OB did not answer question 18.
*JO did not answer questions 8, 23, and 25.
I wish I had included a question about vacationing at the beach or mountains to go along with the question about living near the beach or the mountains. More people preferred living near the mountains. I wonder where their dream vacation spot would be.
Most of us would be on our way to Italy for a dream vacation instead of France.
I was surprised so many people chose dogs over cats.
Housekeeping services and personal chef were divided evenly. Only one person selected a personal stylist instead of a personal trainer.
It seems most of us would prefer to relive special moments instead of fast-forwarding through tough times.
Age preferences at parties were fairly evenly mixed. Kindness beat out popularity by a wide margin. Being the smartest or the funniest was close, but more of us would like to be funny. We’d also prefer to have a fatter wallet instead of being the most beautiful.
Reading – this is a group that places high value on reading though most of us would prefer to see Shakespeare performed at the theater. We’ll read the book over watching the movie and even read instead of watching TV.
A majority of us would give up our computers for a year instead of our cell phones. That was an easy choice for me because a smartphone does pretty much everything my computer does. We’d also give up air-conditioning instead of living in a windowless home. It’s all about the view for me. When given the choice of giving up our shoes or underwear forever, two-thirds of us would choose to go commando. Most of us would give up our liquor before we would surrender our chocolates.
Some of us are pretty shy when it comes to singing. While most of us would sing karaoke instead of doing a quick naked dash through Times Square, one-third of us would bare it all to avoid singing in public. Two-thirds of us would also prefer listening to our significant other sing instead of singing to them. Two-thirds of us would be standing in a shower instead of soaking in a tub. Also, two-thirds of us would prefer to relive our worst date than have to watch our significant other go on their best date that wasn’t with us. Also at the two-thirds mark, we preferred receiving “a reading” from an astrologer instead of visiting a psychic.
Speaking of fractions, slightly more of us would prefer teaching fractions to third graders over teaching sex education to high schoolers.
Stephen Colbert is the guy we want to be interviewed by while it was almost an even choice between sitting on Kelly Clarkson’s or Drew Barrymore’s couch.
Stephen King is the author we’d choose as a co-author.
Most of our movie preferences were also split by a two-thirds margin, Two-thirds would watch The Wizard of Oz, American Graffiti, and Gone with the Wind. The Stars Wars franchise easily toppled Star Trek.
I’ve saved the results for this question for last. It was the most difficult question on the questionnaire. Would you rather cure cancer or end world hunger? Our answers were almost evenly divided. Ten people selected a cure for cancer while eight chose to end world hunger. If we end world hunger, perhaps we save the life/lives of the person(s) who will find the cure for cancer, If we cure cancer, maybe we will save the life/lives of the person(s) who will find the solution that ends world hunger. It’s mind-blowing when you think about it.
There are no right or wrong answers here. The purpose of our questionnaire is to illustrate the different types of choices we make every day. How we spend our time and resources matters. The causes we support through volunteerism or monetary donations matter. Our lives matter because every choice we make sends a message about what we value.
Photo taken from previous issues of this publication with no intention of copyright infringement.