In her 2023 memoir, Scottish comedian Fern Brady reveals that she was diagnosed with autism in 2021.
Brady was born in 1986. Why did it take 35 years to be properly diagnosed?
According to Brady, it’s because she is female.
The latest data from the Centers for Disease Control indicates that more than four boys are diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum for every one girl who is diagnosed. Researchers have traditionally focused on genetic differences, but clinicians and researchers are now beginning to realize that many higher functioning autistic girls are being missed.
Girls on the autism spectrum may not present with the same symptoms as their male counterparts because of certain stereotypes society holds about the differences between how boys behave and how girls behave. “Sugar and spice and everything nice that’s what little girls are made of.” Many of us heard that rhyme growing up. We became adept at masking any behaviors considered unladylike. When girls are quiet and hyper-focused it’s rarely a cause for concern - until it is.
As a child, Brady was extremely bright, but introverted, She did not socialize well with her family or peers. When she took an obsessive interest in something insignificant or exhibited stimming behaviors (Stimming is the repetitive performance of certain physical movements or vocalizations – flapping arms, spinning, twirling, rocking, jumping, head banging, etc. It’s a form of self-stimulation or coping mechanism used by persons with autism or other neurodevelopmental conditions) her parents assumed it was just “Fern being Fern.” When she tried to avoid family gatherings, vacations, and large crowds of people, it was “Fern being difficult.” Her need for structure and routine was “Fern being selfish and trying to ruin family outings.”
Brady began to smash things and harm herself when she was a teen. Her family was forced to seek help dealing with their difficult daughter. At sixteen, Brady was diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder though she never believed failure to do any of her repetitive behaviors would result in harm to herself or her family. OCD is a chronic mental health condition characterized by repetitive behaviors and uncontrollable thoughts people have which lead them to believe they have to do these repetitive behaviors in order to silence these thoughts and prevent a disaster or an illness.
Brady didn’t understand why she behaved in certain ways like why she needed quiet, calm, and routine. Her family seemed maddeningly noisy and chaotic.
When she was removed from her high school and placed in an outpatient psychiatric care facility, she assumed she was mentally ill. When she didn’t respond to counseling, she assumed she was defective.
After reading about the autism spectrum, she recognized certain feelings and behaviors. When she broached the subject with her doctor, he immediately dismissed her concerns.
She was a girl, and she didn’t exhibit the typical behaviors of his male patients with autism. She had had boyfriends. Her language skills were exceptional, and she was studying multiple languages with the intention of majoring in languages at university.
According to her doctor, girls were naturally more introverted than boys. They were neater and more inclined to be interested in more obscure subjects/hobbies.
Problems at home continued to escalate until Brady’s mother kicked her out several times. When she was accepted to Edinburgh University, her parents refused to provide any financial support. Brady found the size of the university and constant motion around her overwhelming. She switched her major from languages to journalism and tried to fit in. Having roommates/housemates was difficult because she couldn’t pick up on social cues. She was also brutally honest – seemingly without a filter.
While paying her own way through school by stripping and writing for a school publication, she finally found something she understood – stand up comedy. She didn’t need a filter and making fun of her eccentricities was liberating. But, Brady still struggled with social anxiety and relationships and often dealt with uncontrollable rage that caused her to smash furniture and destroy things she loved.
Help finally arrived in the form of a diagnosis. After consulting a new psychologist, she was identified as a highly functioning autistic woman on the autism spectrum. She was introduced to coping mechanisms to help control her social anxiety and deal with her frustrations in less aggressive ways. Ingrained behavior patterns are hard to change and if Brady had been properly diagnosed as a child, her life would probably have been less painful and confusing.
Her memoir is brutally honest, and she is careful not to portray herself as a victim. She is understandably angry at the incorrect diagnoses and treatment plans that were ineffective and sometimes harmful, but Brady also realizes there is no way to go back in time and set things right. She decided the best course of action was to be open about her diagnosis to spread awareness about girls/women on the autism spectrum.
She will always be on the spectrum and that’s okay because she has come to realize that along with the challenges of fitting into traditional expectations for women there is joy in being who you are.
Autism is a complex neurological condition many believe is being over diagnosed. Many people on the spectrum may also have ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder). Brady’s memoir and this review are not meant to be used to try to determine if someone is on the spectrum.
Sources for this article:
https://childmind.org/article/autistic-girls-overlooked-undiagnosed-autism/
Photo of Fern Brady and book image included for our readers with no intention of copyright infringement.