I first heard of Wifey by Judy Blume when I was researching an article about banned books. Blume is a YA novelist whose works are often challenged or banned because of her depictions of teen sexuality and references about masturbation. Wifey is not a YA novel. It is the first of three novels Blume has written for adults.

I wasn’t sure what to expect, but given her considerable talents as an author, my expectations were high.

While Wifey is not a memoir, Blume drew from the social and sexual revolutions of the seventies and some of her own experiences to craft the story of her main characters, Sandy and Norman Pressman. For those of you who are uncomfortable with sexual references, sexual situations and swearing, this is probably not the book for you.

She also exposes the overt and hidden racism, sexism and religious intolerance in suburbia. Many of the people who embraced John F. Kennedy’s presidency and the Civil Rights movement are upset because blacks can now afford to move into their neighborhoods. Marrying outside of one’s race or religion is unacceptable to many families. Wifey offers us a poignant reminder that equal opportunity and equity haven’t changed that much since the seventies and laws are only as effective as the people who enforce them.

Sandy and Norman are Jewish and they live in a transitional New Jersey suburb that was once predominantly Jewish. Norman is a successful businessman who has expanded his late father’s dry cleaning business. Sandy is a stay at home mom to their two children, a boy named Bertram (Bucky) a girl named Jennifer. The Pressman’s have recently joined the local country club. They currently live in Norman’s childhood home which they purchased from his mother after his father’s death. Because the neighborhood is in transition and minorities are moving into the neighborhood, the Pressman’s have their home for sale and are building their dream home in an upscale predominantly Jewish suburb.

Despite having everything Norman and her mother Mona think a woman needs to be happy, after almost 12 years of marriage, Sandy is bored and feels something is missing. She left college to get married and moved directly from her parents’ house to an apartment with Norman. With the exception of summer jobs as a teenager, she has never worked outside the home. Norman leaves her lists of things to do, but the bulk of running her home is left to a housekeeper.

Sandy’s life has been carefully planned first by her mother and then by her husband - go to college, find a nice Jewish boy from a good family with great financial prospects. Stay a virgin because “men don’t buy the cow if the milk is free.” Have two children, preferably a boy and a girl and keep your husband happy.

Norman doesn’t want his wife to work. He wants her to embrace country club life and be eternally grateful for the standard of living he provides. He has certain euphemisms to describe their sex life and Saturday night was his night for “a little something.” It was never acceptable for Sandy to say, “No.”

Norman insists Sandy keep a chart of their dog’s “sticks and wees” his euphemism for bladder and bowel movements. Sandy was also expected to prepare his favorite foods on the same night each week – Monday pot roast and Wednesday chicken.

Imagine Sandy’s surprise when she looks outside her bedroom window and she sees a motorcycle in her backyard. The driver is wearing a stars and stripes helmet and a bedsheet. He looks up at her, discards the sheet and while totally naked except for the helmet he pleasures himself, retrieves the sheet and rides away. She calls Norman who calls the police. Despite the presence of motorcycle ruts and other physical evidence, the police officer assigned to her case is skeptical and Norman is more upset about the ruts in his yard than Sandy’s ordeal. After her initial shock, his sporadic reappearances seem to amuse Sandy. If Norman and the police aren’t concerned why should she be? After reading the book, I’m not sure if the motorcycle man is necessary or if his presence is a distraction. Be sure and let me know what you think.

Whenever Sandy tries to talk to Norman about how she feels, he dismisses her concerns and tries to make her feel guilty for not appreciating the life he has provided. He suggests all she needs to do is make some friends at the club and stop thinking only of her needs.

Sandy takes golf and tennis lessons, but doesn’t enjoy it.

Sandy discovers her sister and many of her friends are also struggling to figure out their place in the sexual revolution. As widows, her mother and mother-in-law are also affected.

Sandy’s search for happiness leads her to have an affair with an old flame from her high school and college days.  

Her parents were relieved when Shep was drafted and sent overseas. The son of a cleaning lady would never be good enough for their daughter. They were overjoyed when she met Norman.

Shep is now a wealthy businessman. He and his wife have two sons, two adopted children and a fifth child on the way from a Vietnamese orphanage. While their affair is exciting can it ever justify the potential harm to Sandy’s husband, her children and Shep’s family?

It’s a question of what’s the best or worst that could happen. Who will get hurt and who will survive?

Blume presents many sides to the issues affecting marriages. Unrealistic expectations – desires and needs – parental interference - settling instead of following your heart – falling in and out of love with your spouse – infidelity and its consequences – the innocent victims of selfish actions and the question of respect for your spouse and yourself.

Other books for adults by Judy Bloom:

Summer Sisters

Smart Women