This Awful-Awesome Life

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Regina by Frances Joyce and Carole Munne

“Do not be afraid. You can help yourself.” Regina Olechowski

Regina Olechowski was born in Dzierzbia, Poland in 1922. Her journey to America was long and often seemed impossible. Regina has never fully mastered the English language. She has remained insulated by her Polish friends and relatives and converses in English with a heavy accent. She often slips into Polish when she can’t think of the correct English word.

When she laughs, it’s a hardy and infectious laugh. When she speaks of the war, her eyes brim with tears. There is a sadness few can comprehend, but there is also strength in those eyes that few can ignore. Regina is a survivor. When she talks about her family, she gestures with big sweeping arms. When she talks about the Germans or the Russians, her hands curl into tight little fists that she places in front of her heart.

Often she extends her hands palms out, to include us in her world. Her fingers are gnarled from arthritis, but there is no mistaking that these were once strong hands that worked on a farm and cared for loved ones. Those hands still crochet with amazing agility, and she still makes gifts for her family.

Regina’s parents, Marianna and Julian, with her older brother, Stanley.

Regina’s story begins years before her birth. Her Polish parents were married in the United States and her oldest brother was born here. During the Great Depression they returned to Poland. It was their dream to someday return to America with their family.

Regina was seventeen when the Germans and the Russians invaded her country in 1939.

It was a confusing time, the Germans and the Russians had signed a nonaggression pact with the agreement to invade and divide Poland. There was some question as to who was the greater evil. Regina’s village was close to Russia. Her father could speak Russian. The Russians started rounding up able bodied men to put them in the army. The Russians and the Germans were equally brutal at first.

If you were a woman, there was always the danger of rape. German and Russian soldiers often came to the farms in her village in search of liquor and women. Some offered food or gifts in exchange for sex. Others just took what they wanted. Regina had to hide in a special place in her barn whenever the soldiers came. One night, a soldier came without warning, Regina was sleeping. The soldier demanded liquor from the family, and as he drank he became belligerent. He dragged Regina out of bed insisting that she dance with him. Regina’s father feared his daughter would be raped, so he fought the soldier. Years as a farmer had made her father strong, so he was able to overpower the soldier and force him to leave.  The soldier never returned.

After that, the family was much more careful, but the danger was still there. The soldiers controlled the village. Soon the Russians and the Germans were fighting with each other. After the Russians joined the Allied forces, it still did not improve conditions in Poland.

Regina’s mother was a very good cook and a talented seamstress. She was able to use these skills to help support the family after her son and husband were taken by the Russians for military service.  With the men gone, Regina and the other young women in the villages and nearby farms were in constant jeopardy. The women devised a simple, but effective way to protect themselves from rape. If attacked, they were to immediately urinate and/or defecate on themselves. This was especially effective with the German soldiers. While the Germans were openly brutal, the Russians proved to be crueler.

At a nearby farm, a young woman was raped and killed by Russian soldiers. Regina was one of the lucky ones, she was never raped.

German soldiers took Regina, her mother, and her sister, Lucille from their home at gunpoint. They and other villagers were marched to a nearby field and made to dig a large deep trench in cold wet weather. Once they were finished, they watched in horror as the mass swarm of people came.

Every inch of the road seemed to be taken up by people. They walked in lines of six across… women, children, the elderly, and the disabled. Some came from the village, but others, from their dress, were obviously from farther away. Regina saw her school friend, Emma, walking with her family. The German soldiers pointed their weapons and shouted at the crowd to keep moving. The slow ones were warned, and if they could not keep up, they were butt ended with machine guns. The people walking with them had to pull them along. The line didn’t stop. It marched slowly on, closer and closer to the giant trench.

At the trench, soldiers ripped infants from their mothers’ arms and bashed their heads against the trees before throwing them into the trench. The elderly were smashed in the heads with machine guns and pushed into the hole. Children were pushed in. Mothers were jumping into the trench to try to save their children.  Covered in mud, people were desperately trying to climb their way back out of the hole when the machine gun fire started. The soldiers had encircled the trench. When the order was given, they began to fire into the hole. People were screaming.

There were also soldiers with guns pointed at Regina and the villagers. Everyone was screaming and crying except the soldiers who seemed to take a particular satisfaction in what they were doing. She watched helplessly as the trench filled with bodies, and the mud turned red with blood. When the shooting stopped and the last screams from the trench subsided, Regina and the others were forced to fill in the hole with dirt.  They wept softly. While being poked and prodded with bayonets, they were ordered to work faster. It was cold and growing dark. The smell of death was all around them. At last the hole was covered and they were allowed to return to their homes.

Eventually these mass graves became a health hazard. Typhus spread through the village. That’s when the Nazi’s started building the crematoriums. Educated men from the village were recruited to help with construction. Those who refused were shot or their families were threatened. It was an unimaginable time. The trains began arriving full of Jews. Smoke and the stench of burning bodies often filled the air. Then, the bombings started.

The Russians were now fighting the Germans, but even though they were now part of the Allied forces, they meant no good for Poland. Regina and her family waited anxiously for the other Allies to come and save their country.

The bombs were a constant threat. They had to cover their windows and use kerosene lights sparingly at night. Any light could become a target for a bomber. The greatest casualties of the bombings were the farm animals. They were terrified by the sound of the planes and the noise of the bombs. Often, bombings caused stampedes and animals ran head first into more bombs. Some farmers lost all their livestock, and many lost their horses which were their only source of transportation. 

Regina with Jan (Johnny)

As a girl, Regina played with a neighbor boy named Johnny. As they grew older, Johnny and Regina fell deeply in love. In Poland, many marriages were still arranged by the family. Johnny’s family made an arrangement for him to marry someone else. Johnny’s sister was being married to the son of a prominent family, and it was that family’s wish that Johnny marry the sister of his sister’s fiancé… two marriages or no marriage.

Regina watched with unbearable sorrow as her Johnny married someone else. Her parents attempted to arrange several suitors for Regina, but she stubbornly rejected them all. Her parents grew tired of waiting and pressed her to marry.

When an older, well established, suitor came to call, Regina’s father agreed to the match without her consent. Regina tried to appeal to her brother for help, but he had left for England on his way to America. There was nothing he could do. In 1947, in a wedding dress from America, Regina was married to a man she barely knew and could not love. After six months, he left his young bride. Shortly after that, Regina learned that she was with child. She gave birth to a daughter she named Maria.

Regina’s sister Lucille had made plans to go to America to be with their brother. She left her young son, Andy in Regina’s care. Although Regina longed to go to America, it seemed out of reach for a single mother. She stayed on the farm. Living on a farm in Poland made sewing a necessity, so by this time, Regina was an excellent seamstress. Sewing was also a skill she believed would be helpful in America. Lucille was a teacher in Poland, but it might be of little use in America, so Regina taught her to sew. She wanted Lucille to have a marketable skill in America. Regina hoped to one day use her skills there as well.

After several years, Lucille returned for Andy. Once again Regina watched someone she loved leave for America. She seemed resigned to the fact that her life was in Poland, but she still longed to see America.

Regina had read many books about America…tales of cowboys and Indians and stories about the opportunities that awaited anyone willing to work hard. Regina knew she was a hard worker, and she dreamed of a better life in America. She also still dreamed of Johnny.

After many years, Johnny returned to Dzierzbia. He was no longer married. He and Regina were finally reunited. They had a daughter, and they named her Margaret.

During this time, Regina’s brother, Stanley had been working to bring his entire family to the United States. Regina was at last given the opportunity to leave Poland.

The time had finally come for Regina to go to America, but instead of being elated, she was afraid. Poland was the only home she had ever known. Should she stay in Poland or go to America where most of her immediate family would be living? The thought of being without her beloved parents was unbearable. She believed that America was a great country. If she went there and was successful, she could do more for her other family members who remained in Poland.

At the age of forty-one, she boarded a ship, The Batory, with her parents and two daughters to make the journey to America. Johnny had to stay behind to handle the sale of the farm and the livestock. He planned to join them as soon as everything was settled in Poland.

Regina and her father visited the American Embassy before the trip, and she was relieved that they were so helpful and encouraging.

 It was a rough crossing and Regina and her daughters were often sea sick. It was comforting to have her mother and father on board the ship, but she missed Johnny. She was apprehensive to tackle America on her own without a husband by her side. They had waited so long to be together, and now they were going to be an ocean away from each other.

In 1963, the ship docked in Montreal, Canada. Regina liked Montreal immediately; it reminded her of Poland. The architecture of the buildings and the layout of the city seemed a lot like Europe. Regina breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe it would not be so different after all.

After a short stay, Regina and her family were on their way to Detroit where her brother lived. Detroit was very different from Poland and Montreal.  With her brother as a sponsor, the immigration process was easy. Regina had no difficulty obtaining a green card because she was a skilled seamstress. She arrived in Detroit on a Friday and by Tuesday she was starting her new job.

Regina was paid $1.15 per hour. She was warned that if she showed up late for any reason, fifty cents would be deducted from her pay. She had to ride the bus downtown to work. Regina was used to living on a farm and walking to the village. She had always walked or taken a horse and buggy.  Regina had rarely needed to travel far from the village, so there was no need for a car or public transportation. Now it was a vital part of her life.

Regina’s first impressions of America matched her expectations. She thought it would be a rich country and to her everyone here seemed rich. You could have so much in America if you were willing to work for it. In Poland you had to work hard just to survive.

The hardest barrier for Regina was the language. She had only a sixth grade education, and the thought of learning a new language was overwhelming. It has been the major stumbling block for her, and it is the main reason she has never become a U.S. citizen.

Maria, Andy and Regina

The man who hired her was a Ukrainian Jew who spoke Polish, and most of the women she worked with spoke Polish. The whole family lived with Stanley when they first came to America. Lucille moved out soon after they came. Regina and her mother went with Lucille. They stayed with her for about six months to help her get settled and take care of Andy.

Regina eventually moved back to her brother’s house. Stanley spoke fluent English, but in the home, he conversed with Regina and her parents in Polish. Regina lived with her parents and brother until he got married.

When they came to Detroit, Regina’s oldest daughter, Maria was thirteen. She had started school in Poland at age four. A bright student, she learned English quickly in school. Margaret was one, so the only language she understood was Polish. 

The food in America was different. Regina had lived her whole life on a farm, so she was used to eating fresh meat and vegetables. While they didn’t always have a lot of food to eat, it was always fresh.  Supermarket food was abundant, but never farm fresh. It was an adjustment for Regina. After Regina was finally able to buy her own home, she planted a garden. It was a great source of comfort and enjoyment for her.

It took Johnny several years to settle their affairs in Poland and obtain a visa to come to the United States. During that time, Regina took care of her daughters and saved money for the future. After two years at her job, Regina used $145.00 of the money she had saved to buy a commercial sewing machine, so she could make extra money working at home. At the factory, she made coats, but at home she made belts.

Regina lived in a mixed neighborhood. The families there took care of themselves. Religion was very important, and Regina and her daughters attended mass every Sunday. Maria and Margaret attended the local public school. When Margaret reached third grade, Regina was able to send her to Catholic School. By this time, Maria had finished school.

Johnny was working for Chrysler. They saved enough money to buy their own house. Regina and Johnny paid $26,500 for their first home. During this time, Regina’s mother became ill, and Regina became her nurse. She cared for her mother for five years. Her mother lived to be 87 years old. After that, Regina took care of her father until his death at age 86.

Johnny and Regina built a wonderful life together in Michigan. After her husband’s death in 2009, Regina moved to Venetia, Pennsylvania to live with Margaret and her family. She practices many customs from Poland…holiday traditions, foods, and religion. Regina is helping Margaret pass these traditions on to her sons.

Regina with her grandsons (Margaret’s sons)

Regina developed some serious health issues. After a lengthy hospital stay, she decided to move back to Michigan in 2012, where she lived with Maria. Maria and her husband Steve cared for Regina until August 2014.  At that time, Regina returned to Margaret’s home in Venetia. Shortly thereafter, Regina was moved to a hospice facility.  In the days that followed, family members gathered to say their last goodbyes.

For Regina, America was the land of opportunity.

She waited forty-one years to come here. During more than 50 years in America, Regina had no desire to return to her homeland. She embraced each day as if it were a gift, and treasured every freedom with the realization of one who knows how it feels not to be free.

Regina passed away at 92 in the country she loved.

 (Pictured below: Regina with her daughter Margaret and Fran. Regina with authors Carole and Fran)

Special thanks to Margaret Bertrand and Carole Munne for all the photos in this article.